ROBERT BARONE, "Pilot" (1996)
You can't create fate 'cause then it's not fate, it's voodoo.
Luck is the residue of good planning.
You want to know the advantages of marriage? Fine... There's... Uh... OK! Here! Got it! You know when you fall asleep and you stop breathing? When you're married, there's always somebody there to nudge you back to life.
RAY BARONE, "The Lone Barone" (1998)
One day you're rescuing a puppy, the next you're fishing a skull out of a toilet.
ROBERT BARONE, "In-Laws" (1996)
You want to know the meaning of life? You're born, you go to school, you go to work, you die.
FRANK BARONE, "Talk to Your Daughter" (2002)
Men don't like to cuddle. We only like it if it leads to... you know... lower cuddling.
RAY BARONE, "Move Over" (1999)
The only reason Debra keeps me alive is to open jars and kill bugs.
Didn't I teach you anything? You got a problem with your woman you don't go out and get another one. Then you got two problems.
FRANK BARONE, "Raybert" (2001)
I can't believe you're still living with them. If it was me I'd be cleaning off my fingerprints and rehearsing my 9-1-1 call.
RAY BARONE, "Someone's Cranky" (2000)
Everybody Loves Raymond Quotes - page 2