CHRISTIAN FINNEGAN, Best Week Ever (2004)
The best salesman of all time is Jesus. Two thousand years later people are still buying his concepts.
ÅKE LINDÉN, Cleo (2002)
Jesus may have your soul, but Mama gonna have your behind.
JAMES "J.J." EVANS, JR., Good Times (1974)
People are the same today as they were then - they hailed all sorts of insignificant hotheads as prophets. Jesus Christ is the only sure thing in an inconsistent world. We believe that because we must believe in something. It's a human need. It's a human need to be sure about at least one thing, and what better example than Jesus Christ.
FYODOR DOSTOYEVSKY, Russia (1986)
Somewhere between Jesus dying on the cross and a giant bunny hiding eggs, there seems to be a...a gap of information.
STAN, South Park, "Fantastic Easter Special" (2007)
Whether Jesus is real or not, he...he's had a bigger impact on the world than any of us have. And the same can be said for Bugs Bunny and...and Superman and Harry Potter. They've changed my life, changed the way I act on the earth. Doesn't that make them kind of real? They might be imaginary, but...but they're more important than most of us here. And they're all gonna be around here long after we're dead. So, in a way, those things are more realer than any of us.
KYLE BROFLOVSKI, South Park, "Imaginationland: Episode III" (2007)
It's always something out there that gets the blame or credit, whether it be Jesus or gin.
MARYANN FORRESTER, True Blood, "Nothing But the Blood" (2009)
It's Christmas, for goodness sake. Think about the baby Jesus up in that tower, letting his hair down... so that the three wise men can climb up and spin the dradel and see if there are six more weeks of winter.
KAREN WALKER, Will & Grace (1998)
Jesus didn't come to free us from pain, he came to give us the strength to bear it.
REVEREND JOHN, 21 Grams (2003)
Beliefs are odd. A lot of Christians wear crosses around their necks. Do you think when Jesus comes back he ever wants to see a f***ing cross?
BILL HICKS, Bill Hicks: Relentless (1992)
Jesus Quotes - page 2