BETH, Choke (2008)
You're 32 years old and you've achieved nothing. Jesus Christ was dead and alive again by 33. You better get crackin'!
JIM BYRD, Confessions of a Dangerous Mind (2002)
White folks only want to hear the good shit: life eternal, a place in God's Heaven. But as soon as they hear they're getting this good shit from a black Jesus, they freak. And that, my friends, is called hypocrisy. A black man can steal your stereo, but he can't be your Savior.
RUFUS, Dogma (1999)
Jesus said that the most important thing you can do with your life is to love God with everything you are, to love others and yourself. So if we win every game and we miss that, we've done nothing. Football then means nothing. So I'm here to present you a new team philosophy. I think that football is just one of the tools we use to honor God.
GRANT TAYLOR, Facing the Giants (2006)
You see the whole culture: Nazis, deodorant salesmen, wrestlers, beauty contests, a talk show. Can you imagine the level of a mind that watches wrestling? But the worst are the fundamentalist preachers. Third grade con men telling the poor suckers that watch them that they speak with Jesus, and to please send in money. Money, money, money! If Jesus came back and saw what's going on in his name, he'd never stop throwing up.
FREDERICK, Hannah and Her Sisters (1986)
I know why you have come, I have seen it in your faces Sunday after Sunday as I've stood here before you. Fear has brought you here. Horrible, superstitious fear. Fear of divine retribution a bolt of fire from the skies. The vengeance of the Lord and the justice of God. But you have forgotten the love of Jesus. You disregard His sacrifice. Death, fear, flames, horror and black clothes. Hold your meeting then, but know if you do this in the name of God and in the house of God, you blaspheme against Him and His Word.
MR. GRUFFYDD, How Green Was My Valley (1941)
Jesus is never mad at us if we live with Him in our hearts.
CRICKET, I Heart Huckabees (2004)
Don't make waves because, unlike Jesus, we can't walk on them.
DR. SEBASTIAN MELMOTH, In God We Tru$t (1980)
You see, we're all born sinful, except for Jesus who was perfect, of course. And he was sent to save us. But how could he save us unless we're sinning? So we have to go on sinning in order to be saved and go to Heaven. That's how Christianity works. That's why it suits so many people.
CHARLIE McMANUS, Nuns on the Run (1990)
If you call Jesus, his line is never busy.
PREACHER HEARN, Once Upon a Time... When We Were Colored (1995)
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