Just Shoot Me! Quotes (1997-2003)
Why is it that any belief system that strays from the norm is labeled a cult? That any leader that dares to speak a deeper truth is called a lunatic with a messiah complex, and his followers are just pawns?

NINA VAN HORN, "What the Teddy Bear Saw" (1998)

All women reach a point when the only thing lower than their self-esteem is their standards. And that, my friend, is Finchy time.

DENNIS FINCH, "Guess Who's Coming to Blush" (2002)

If anyone needs me, I'll be in ecstasy.

NINA VAN HORN, "Fast Times at Finchmont High" (2000)

If my marriage was so shattered, why am I still wearing my wedding ring...and hers?

DENNIS FINCH, "An Axe to Grind" (1999)

Sometimes you want to puke in a toilet called yesterday.

DENNIS FINCH, "A Spy in the House of Me" (1999)

You've got to stop hiring these waify models...I turned on the fan and she blew into the wall.

ELLIOT DiMAURO, "Back Issues" (1997)

You are your magazine. You're glossy, you're slick, the cover looks great...you open it up, there's nothing inside.

MAYA GALLO, "Back Issues" (1997)

There, an article on aging next to an ad for vodka. Problem...solution.

NINA VAN HORN, "Lemon Wacky Hello" (1997)

Face it, no one actually loves Shakespeare. They just say they do...like cuddling.

ELLIOT DiMAURO, "King Lear Jet" (1997)

The struggle between good and evil is something everyone should care about!

DENNIS FINCH, "At Long Lost Allie" (2001)

Just Shoot Me! Quotes - page 2

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