Lawyers Quotes
Law School 101: Truth's overrated.

MARGARET ALLISON HART, NCIS: Naval Criminal Investigative Service, "Mother's Day" (2010)

Civil liberties: good. Lawyers: bad.

JOHN MUNCH, Law & Order: Special Victims Unit (1999)

I'm a lawyer, I don't care about the law.

LILAH MORGAN, Angel, "Lullaby" (2001)

As your lawyer, I can't stop you from lying. I can't even be in the room. But I would be remiss if I didn't prep you to lie better.

STACY WARNER, House M.D., "The Mistake" (2005)

He who is his own lawyer has a fool for a client.

PATRICK JANE, The Mentalist, "Blood Money" (2010)

The justice system works swiftly in the future now that they've abolished all lawyers.

DOC, Back to the Future Part II (1989)

What are lawyers, really? To me, a lawyer is basically the person that knows the rules of the country. We're all throwing the dice, playing the game, moving our pieces around the board. But if there's a problem, the lawyer is the only person that has read the inside of the top of the box. I think one of the fun things for them is to say "objection". "Objection! Objection, Your Honour." "Objection", of course, is the adult version of "'fraid not". To which the judge can say two things: He can say "overruled", which is the adult version of "'fraid so", or he can say "sustained", which is the adult version of "duh".

JERRY SEINFELD, Seinfeld, "The Visa" (1993)

Lawyers! There should be a place in Hell for each and every one of them!

PHOEBE HALLIWELL, Charmed (1998)

Divorce lawyers...God's way of telling you to stay single.

DETECTIVE LENNIE BRISCOE, Law & Order (1990)

Defense attorneys distort the facts. They twist evidence. They will not only go to the mat for their clients, they will take that mat and toss it out the window as far as they can. They are not bound by the truth, they are bound to obfuscate it if it serves to get their clients acquitted. And they should be commended for it. And it is what makes the system work.

A.D.A. JACK McCOY, Law & Order, "House Counsel" (1995)


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