Prison Quotes
The first night's the toughest, no doubt about it. They march you in naked as the day you were born, skin burning and half blind from that delousing shit they throw on you. And when they put you in that cell and those bars slam home...that's when you know it's for real. A whole life blown away in the blink of an eye. Nothing left but all the time in the world to think about it.

ELLIS BOYD "RED" REDDING, The Shawshank Redemption (1994)

These walls are funny. First you hate 'em, then you get used to 'em. Enough time passes, you get so you depend on them. That's "institutionalized".

ELLIS BOYD "RED" REDDING, The Shawshank Redemption (1994)

They send you here for life, and that's exactly what they take. The part that counts, anyway.

ELLIS BOYD "RED" REDDING, The Shawshank Redemption (1994)

The funny thing is...on the outside, I was an honest man, straight as an arrow. I had to come to prison to be a crook.

ANDY DUFRESNE, The Shawshank Redemption (1994)

I can't go to prison! Although I could get a lot of reading done, finally write some short stories, work out all the time. Seriously, if I don't come out of there totally ripped...

TED MOSBY, How I Met Your Mother, "The Fight" (2008)

We can't go to prison! People get shivved in the joint. Plus the meals are really starchy.

BARNEY STINSON, How I Met Your Mother, "The Fight" (2008)

The worst thing about prison was the...dementors. They were flying all over the place and they were scary and then they'd come down and they suck the soul out of your body and it hurt!

MICHAEL SCOTT, The Office, "The Convict" (2006)

An innocent prisoner will become more angry by the hour due to the injustice suffered. He will shout and rage. A guilty prisoner becomes more calm and quiet. Or he cries. He knows he's there for a reason. The best way to establish guilt or innocence is non-stop interrogation.

HAUPTMANN GERD WIESLER, The Lives of Others (2006)

Your Honor, my incarceration is cruel and unusual punishment. First, my prison-issued shower sandals are grossly undersized. Secondly, the prison book club consists mainly of prisoners who club me with books.

SIDESHOW BOB, The Simpsons, "Day of the Jackanapes" (2001)

You know, minimum-security prison is no picnic. I have a client in there right now. He says the trick is: kick someone's ass the first day or become someone's bitch. Then everything will be all right.

ROB NEWHOUSE, Office Space (1999)


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